Home Again
by Femvamp
Summary: Stephanie Tanner returns home after her sister's husband dies. ***On Hiatus****
1. Chapter 1

Title: Home Again

Author: Femvamp

Fandom: Fuller House

Disclaimer: The usual. Show isn't mine. It belongs to people not me.

Spoilers: It is Netflix...so all of season 1.

Summary: Darker version of season 1 with some of Jodie Sweetin's real life mixed in and some of my own dark dark thoughts. Don't have an actual direction for the story yet or any pairings. I am just happy my muse is speaking to me. It has been awhile. Hi Muse!

* * *

 _"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP"_

Stephanie Tanner hit the alarm harder then she intended. Mostly because she had forgotten she had set it but also because she had a splitting headache . The club she had been DJ'ing at had been wild and one of the perks of the job was that she drank for free and she took full advantage of that perk. Half way through the night the coke came out. Not that she hadn't snorted a line before she got there but she had been good for most of the night and kept her drug use down to a dull roar; at least until her friends showed up.

Then the party really started.

The party went on for four days. The meth came out on day two. At least that was when she thought it came out. It might have come out earlier. She might have been the one who brought it.

 _"BRRRRRIIIIIIINNNGGGGG"_

Stephanie hit the alarm clock again but it kept ringing. It took her a minute to realize it wasn't the the alarm. Someone was calling her landline. She had forgotten she had that thing. She had gotten a discount by connecting it with her tv and computer. The only people who had her landline number were her family and the only person who ever used it was her father.

Stephanie was tempted to ignore it. The last time he called they had a fight over money. She had just dropped £800 on drugs and couldn't pay her rent. Her father had given her the usual lecture about finance and making better choices. She had briefly wondered what he would say if she told him one of her choices was speed. She quickly decided that was not a good option. She liked London and had no intention of returning to San Fransco any time soon.

"Hi Dad." Stephanie picked up the phone and tried to hide how hung over she really was.

"Stephanie you need to come home right away." Danny said without any preamble.

"Dad I told you. I am busy. I have a job." Stephanie said getting ready to begin the usual fight once again.

"He's dead." Danny said simply.

"Who?" Stephanie grabbed the phone tighter getting worried. Was it Uncle Jessie or Uncle Joey? "What are you talking about?"

"DJ's...her husband...Dead." Danny blurted out the words suddenly. "Come home."

Stephanie paused for only a minute. All the reasons why going home was a bad idea flew through her head. She knew she had a problem with drugs and drinking and there were other things as well that she didn't want to think about right now. But this was family. If it was just Thanksgiving dinner she would have found a reason; any reason to get out of it.

This was different.

Her sister needed her.

"I'll catch the first flight back."

Stephanie Tanner was going home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note #1:** Thank you everyone who is reading this. It has been awhile since my muse has talked to me so I am glad that people are enjoying my story.

 **Authors Note #2:** This is more of a warning then anything. I mostly write F/F stories. I am not sure how this is going to go so I can not guarantee it won't go that way. It is not that I don't write het. See my story The Red which is Dexter/Rita (DEXTER) but I tend to go more F/F (Not that there are many options here or that I can guarantee anything) so take that for what it is. For all I know my muse might just go no pairings at all. I am making this up as I go along but I know how some people are.

* * *

The plane ride home was mostly uneventful. Stephanie was somewhat surprised that her father had purchased her a business class ticket but when she got to the airport she realized that the other two options were first class or standby. Last minute tickets were expensive and Stephanie might have waited on standby or even taken a later flight under normal circumstances but this was anything but so her father without a word had bought a ticket on the first available plane back home.

She had packed quickly. She had packed so quickly she had forgotten about the cocaine she kept in a ring she always wore until she got to airport security. That was when the paranoia set in. It didn't help that she had snorted a few of whatever was sitting on her mirror by her bed and had drank at least one bottle of beer to settle her stomach before she left for the airport.

Stephanie looked hung over.

Security was going to check her bags and frisk her she was sure of it. She was damn surprised when they let her through with a stern look. The same look she had gotten from her father the last time he saw her hung over. Security had checked her bags pretty throughly but they had let her pass.

The flight went quicker then usual mainly because she had a better seat then she would have normally had and because she bought a couple of those mini bottles of hard liquor. The guy next to her flirted with her and even bought her a third little bottle and she let him, Stephanie wasn't stupid; she knew that he was hoping to get lucky and even join the mile high club. Stephanie had no intention of sexing the man up but that didn't mean she couldn't flirt with him a little and enjoy his company.

It was a long flight after all.

When the flight finally landed the man offered to buy her a drink at the bar and Stephanie was tempted to join him but she saw Aunt Becky standing by the terminal so she declined. Aunt Becky smiled sadly at her as she approached and gave her a big hug.

"How was your flight?"

"Long." Stephanie said simply,

"You look tired." Becky nodded and took Stephanie's carry-on. Stephanie pulled the Rolling suitcase she also had and the two of them walked to the exit of the airport.

"I didn't sleep much on the plane."

"DJ will be glad you are here." Becky put both suitcases in her car, "Jesse wanted to be here to pick you up but he is.."

"Its ok Aunt Becky I figure everyone is busy picking someone up from somewhere." Stephanie smiled, "Who is he picking up? Michelle?"

Becky's face darkened a little. Stephanie wasn't sure exactly why. Michelle and Jesse always had a close relationship. It had made her a little jealous at times but then Michelle had been the baby and had needed more then DJ or she had need. It was strange but in a lot of ways Michelle had been closer to Jesse then she had been to her own father.

"Michelle couldn't get away."

"Oh." Stephanie paused, "Do you mind if I go back inside and use the restroom? It will only take a minute."

Becky paused for a moment and took a hard look at her but then nodded. Stephanie wasn't sure what she saw in that look or if she saw anything at all. That was the thing about being a drug addict and an alcoholic you were never sure if anyone knew or if you were just seeing things. Stephanie walked into the bathroom and into one of the stalls and opened the small compartment of her ring. There was enough cocaine in there for one line. It was supposed to be her emergency stash.

This qualified.

She walked out of the bathroom stall and made sure to check herself in the mirror. She did look like crap but presentable crap. The kind of crap she could right off as jet lag. She walked out of the bathroom and back to Becky's car and they drove away.

"So why isn't Michelle coming?"

"I don't know." Becky said annoyed, "Something about building an empire."

"Oh that excuse." Stephanie paused for a second, "How rude."

Stephanie smiled as her aunt snickered under her breath and they continued to drive back home.


	3. Chapter 3

From the moment she set foot in her old house Stephanie counted the minutes until she could leave. She put up a good front. She was kind and caring to her sister and she said all the right things to the rest of her family but Stephanie wanted more then anything to leave.

She wanted to go back to London where she could be alone and drink.

She had promised herself on the plane that she would stay sober on her trip back home. This wasn't about her. It was about DJ and she could do that much for her. She could be Stephanie Tanner the good sister, the good daughter for a couple of days at least.

That promise had lasted until the shakes started. Ironically it was the day of the funeral. Stephanie had made an excuse to go out and had come back an hour later more then a little drunk. She had at least avoided the bars and instead had purchased those little bottles of vodka and drank them in the driveway of the house. The last thing she needed was to get pulled over for drunk driving.

When Stephanie walked back into the house the first thing she notice was a blanket of sadness over everyone. If you looked carefully you could almost see the sadness in the air. Even Kimmy was mellow. That was a sure sign that there was a dark cloud over the house. Usually she was a big ball of crazy bouncing off one wall to another. Now she was sitting next to her daughter quietly trying to stay out of the way which was again unusual for her. 'In the way' was what Kimmy did best.

"Did you take care of what you needed to take care of?" DJ asked as she handed baby Tommy over to Stephanie.

Stephanie looked at the kid. He was about the age Michelle was when their mother died. Maybe a little younger. Stephanie had asked Michelle a few times if she had any memories of their mother and Michelle had said no which was sad to Stephanie. Stephanie remembered plenty of things about their mom even if they were just stories. She wondered if DJ had actual memories. She wondered if it would be the same with the boys. One would have memories of their father, one would take comfort in stories even if the memories themselves had faded and the other would have nothing at all to remember.

Stephanie wondered which had it worse.

"Yeah I just needed to pick up some stuff." Stephanie paused and looked at the baby in her arms. He looked so much like his father. I guess that was why they chose to name the youngest after him and not the oldest. "I packed so quickly I forgot a few things."

"I do that all the time." DJ smiled as she took back the baby, "Three kids. No time. You forget something."

"Just hope its not one of the kids."

"That only happened once." DJ laughed, "And Max didn't even know we left him at Chucky Cheese."

"Who do you think told me that story." Stephanie laughed at her sister.

"He did not." DJ said horrified,

"Tom told me." Stephanie laughed, "He thought it was funny."

Both of the girls laughed at that and then they got sad again realizing that the man so full of life and laughter wasn't coming back. Stephanie was tempted to apologize for bringing up the story but she saw the look in her sisters eyes and realized that she liked to remember him. It made her sad but it also made her happy as well.

All it did was make Stephanie want to drink.

"Ready girls?" Danny popped his head into the room. "The funeral starts in an hour."

"I don't think I am ready for this." DJ turned to her sister.

"You can do this DJ." Stephanie hugged her sister as best she could with the baby still in her sister's arms.

"I guess I don't have a choice."

"That's the spirit." Stephanie said faking a smile.

Stephanie followed her sister out of the room and down the stairs where everyone else was sitting. Everyone stood up as DJ descended the stairs like they were waiting for her and didn't know what to do or say which Stephanie figured was close to the truth.

No one said much as they got into the limos heading to the church for the funeral. No one had to. Stephanie was able to get away for a moment and pop back into her car for another swig of a bottle of vodka before she got into the limo herself.

It was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** : Not sure about this chapter. It is a bit of a place holder chapter until I can get Stephanie back home for show timeline stuff.

The months moved quickly for Stephanie. She had stayed in San Fransisco for a couple of days before she had to get bac k to London. Her father had passively aggressively bought her a coach ticket but Stephanie didn't mind. Anything to get out of the drearily sadness that had taken over the house.

She wanted to party.

She was not disappointed when her friends picked her up from the airport and took her straight to the latest club they were frequenting. Stephanie didn't even get a chance to go back to her apartment and change and sleep before she was partying the night away, and the next day.

Who needed sleep anyway? That was what the coke was for, and the meth.

She woke up three days later.

She had tried to explain to a shrink once why she drank so much. She had briefly gotten sober at one point shortly before her trip back to San Fransisco, and was trying to live a respectable life but that was when the DJing calls had stopped. Stephanie did pretty well. Maybe not well enough to make a living yet but most of her jobs came from putting herself out there in the clubs and doing that and not drinking seemed to be impractical to her.

At least that was what she told the shrink.

And herself.

Plus she was able to talk to people when she was drunk and not get caught in her own head. It was the only time she was able to flirt with guys without feeling weird and awkward. It was the only time she was able to let them tough her without feeling like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin.

Stephanie wondered if something was wrong with her.

Well besides the drinking.

She knew she drank too much.

Her father had told her that on several occasions. He had even made sure to hide the alcohol when she was home. Everyone pretended to not notice they were suddenly living in a dry household. Not that any of them really cared but Aunt Becky and DJ did like an occasional glass of wine and Uncle Jesse liked his beer.

They didn't have a problem though and they pretended to not notice that the wine and beer had vanished from the house.

Stephanie pretended not to notice as well. She wanted to tell her father that he didn't need to worry about her but she knew that all it would do was make him worry more. She wanted to tell him that she had things under control. However she stayed silent during her trip home because there were so many things that she just didn't talk about with her father.

She wondered when that had started because the remembered that they used to talk.

They used to talk alot.

Maybe it was because the things they used to talk about were simpler then. There were things that Stephanie had no intention of talking to her father about. There were things she didn't know how to tell him.

The doctors had been kind and sympathetic when they told her she couldn't have children. At least not biologically. They had made sure she understood she had other options. There were always other options but at the time Stephanie didn't want to hear it.

All she wanted to do was get drunk.

She woke up three days later with a woman in her bed.

Three weeks later her father called telling her her sister's husband was dead.

Now she was back in London back where she belonged with her friends. Being home had gone better then she expected and seeing everyone again was nice but she was glad to be back here where people understood her.

"Are I going to see you again?" The woman who had woken up in her bed smiled at her as she finished putting on her clothing.

Stephanie was still lying in bed naked and was loath to get up just yet. Her head heard and she felt like crap. She had gone on another bender and couldn't remember how she had ended up bringing home this woman. The last thing she remembered was talking to a guy one of her friends had introduced her to.

Apparently it hadn't gone well.

"Maybe." Stephanie grabbed a half empty bottle of warm beer and took a swig. It was better then nothing.

"You don't remember my name do you?" The woman asked simply, "It is Karen we met last night at the club you were DJing at." She paused, "DJ Tanner you call yourself. I think I called you that a few times."

"DJ?" Stephanie snickered under her breath.

"What's so funny about that?"

"Nothing."

"So this was just a one night stand then?" The woman took the beer out of Stephanie's hand and took a swig herself, "Warm beer."

"Breakfast of champions."

"And alcoholics." The woman paused. "I am sorry it is none of my business."

"No Its ok." Stephanie paused, "Its true I don't remember your name."

"Its Michelle." Stephanie snickered under breath again. "Ok what's so funny about that?"

"Nothing. It's been one of those weeks."

The woman nodded and handed Stephanie back the now empty bottle of beer and paused briefly. Stephanie realized she was waiting for something but couldn't put together what it was. The mornings after were always awkward for her. She never knew what to say or do so she did nothing. She just laid there silently waiting for the woman to say or do something.

"Well it was nice meeting you then DJ Tanner."

With that the woman grabbed her things and left. Stephanie stayed in bed for a little while longer before she got out and headed first to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to grab another beer. She knew she should feel bad about the way she treated the woman who just left her apartment but she didn't. All she felt was sad.

The woman didn't know who she was. She had memories of the night they apparently spent together but she didn't know who she really was.

Then she didn't exactly know who she was either. A part of her wanted to go home again and maybe get lost in the past. Figure out who she really was or what she really wanted but she knew doing that meant dealing with things she didn't want to deal with and seeing people she wasn't sure she wanted to see.

Plus DJ was still getting over the death of her husband. Her family had bigger things to deal with then her own identity crisis.

Stephanie knew she was on her own but then she like it that way. That was why she went to London in the first place to be on her own and to make something of herself without the help or interference of her family. Stephanie picked up the phone and looked for another party to go to. She had a job to look for. It didn't matter that she was hung over and more then a little tired.

That was what coke and meth was for.


	5. Chapter 5

Stephanie wasn't a bit surprised when DJ had moved back into their old house. The family used it as a way station but no one had actually lived there in years. Stephanie had often wondered why her father didn't sell it. It was worth alot of money but then money wasn't really an issue. Her father and Becky were doing well at "Wake Up San Fransisco" and there was even talk of the show going into an even bigger market.

Uncle Jessie and Uncle Joey were both doing well. Although Uncle Jessie had stopped touring with his band years ago he was up for a job writing music for a Soap Opera. Everyone was hoping he would get it because it meant steady work for him and importantly to Becky a steady life at home with her. Uncle Joey had gotten married and had moved with his wife to Las Vegas where he did well as a comic.

The house had been more or less empty for since Michelle had moved to New York. Once she moved out the family that had scrunched together in that house for years scattered.

Now it looked like everyone was coming back. DJ had moved back in with her three young boys. Danny and his wife had moved in to help her. It seemed to work out for everyone. Danny loved kids and being a grandfather filled him with a joy that Stephanie knew she could never make him feel.

She would never make her father that happy.

It made her sad.

Stephanie spent the year trying to make herself forget. Forgetting was actually easy. She would drink enough to black out and sometimes she would wake up next to someone she didn't remember even talking to and sometimes she would wake up alone.

It was all the same to her.

A few of the clubs she had gone to had been on jobs. "DJ Tanner: as she called herself was starting to make a name for herself. The party girl who had a killer ear for music.

The party never stopped for Stephanie and she liked it that way. Stephanie and her friends could go from one party to the next from one day to the next and never stop.. Stephanie sometimes wondered what her friends did for work because none of them seemed to have a job. She knew at least one of them was living off a trust fund however with the amount of drugs she was doing Stephanie wondered how long it would last.

It didn't matter though. Stephanie was happy the way things were. She worked when she needed to work and she partied the rest of time. There was always a party to go to and some of the even needed a DJ to play music.

The hottest music in London being played by the the next hot DJ in London.

For Stephanie Tanner the party never stopped.

Until it did.

It had been a little more then a year since DJ's husband had died and Stephanie found herself on a plane again heading back home. Her father and Becky had gotten that big job and were moving to Los Angeles. It wasn't that big of a move but it was enough for him to finally decide to sell the house.

Everyone was coming home for one big last hurrah in the house that had made them all a family.

Even though the jobs were coming more frequently now Stephanie knew she had to go home. Her father would never forgive her if she didn't. It was just a few days. They would have a dull little party. They would all pretend that they didn't notice that she was drinking more then ever.

Stephanie would get to see her nephew. She actually liked them. They skyped alot. Stephanie smiled each time she talked to Jackson and especially Max.

Max reminded her so much of herself when she was young. Well he was alot like her father too. It was an odd mixture.

Stephanie packed her things for the trip home. It would only be for a few days. She'd say goodbye to the house she had grown up in and maybe take a few things with her back to London.

London was were she belonged.

There was nothing that would keep her from returning.


	6. Chapter 6

"Ok its time to take it back to the late 80s when this party got started! New Kids On The Block!"

Stephanie was having a better time being home then she thought she would. When she had come home a year ago there was a dark cloud over the house. The death of a loved one could do that though. This time the reason for coming back was different. It was a happier reason.

Everyone was moving on to better things.

That was what the party was about this time. Better things. Jesse and Becky's twins were talking about a fish taco truck they wanted to buy or more to the point have their parents buy them. Kimmy was exited about her new business. Joey's career in Vegas was doing exceptionally well. Danny and Becky's "Good Morning USA" early reviews were better then they expected. Even Jesse was talking about his new gig as a music writer for General Hospital.

Better things.

Stephanie remembered that they all started with a death as well. The death of her mother. A woman she barely remembered. What she did remember was what came after. She knew things could have been very different if two men had made different choices.

They didn't have to stay.

Stephanie often wondered where she would be if they didn't.

Now everyone was leaving and Stephanie wasn't sure how to feel about that. It wasn't like she hadn't already left. She loved London and her life. She loved the music and she loved the partying. However there was another part of her that wanted what DJ had. She had told her sister that the life looked boring to her but that didn't mean there wasn't something to it. It just wasn't possible. It just wasn't going to happen.

For more then one reason.

DJ's speech and toast made Stephanie wonder if she was even cut out to be a mother anyway. DJ had always had things so under control while Stephanie liked chaos. She thrived in the loud chaotic mosh pit of the clubs which would give her sister hives.

They were very different people.

The only thing they had in common was they both loved their family. That didn't mean she couldn't make them suffer from time to time. Like making Jesse sing "Forever" even though he hated singing that song. Listening to him sing to Becky who he had stayed married to for 28 years was probably the highlight of then night for Stephanie.

Actually singing the song with him was probably the highlight. If anyone got the credit for making her love music the way she did it was Uncle Jesse. The only difference was the way they showed that love.

 _"_ _I've been so happy loving you."_

The party ended pretty quickly after that mainly because Danny had figured out a way to get everyone to leave. That was one of the great things about knowing people so well; you knew how to get under people's skin without offending them and Danny did just that. He ended the party without upsetting anyones feelings.

Stephanie had easily agreed to help DJ and Kimmy clean up after the party. It wasn't like there was all that much to do. Plus she got to watch Steve and DJ pretend not to circle around each other. For two people who had broke up a long time ago they seemed to still have lingering feelings for each other. They just also had incredibly bad timing.

Steve didn't stay long. After some awkward flirting he left with his arms full of free food. Shorty after that Stephanie got a beep on her cell phone that she had been upgraded on her flight to Brazil. Her life was moving on as well.

She was booked solid for months.

Even with everything spinning out of control for her she still had steady job offers. Everything was falling into place for her. It had her exited in a way that she hadn't been in a long time. She had been right to come home to see her family.

This was just what she needed.

It wasn't until the next morning when everything fell apart.

DJ just had too much on her plate all at once and no one saw it or she wouldn't admit it. Tommy got an ear infection, Steve's dog Comet Junior Junior picked the moment to have her babies, Max kept begging for one of the new puppies.

DJ just had had enough.

Stephanie had often wondered what would have happened if all those years ago her father raised and her sisters alone. They were three little girls who needed more then one person could offer them. They need so much. Then their father's brother in law and best friend had agreed to help out for a little while until he got his feet under him.

They had stayed for a lifetime.

They had stayed for her lifetime.

Now DJ was a mother whose husband had died too young and she needed someone to help take care of three young boys who needed more then one person could give them. They needed so much. DJ needed so much.

Stephanie could see that now.

They needed her to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

Stephanie knew she had screw up. It was her first day as living in Aunt and Jackson had run away from home. Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey had made it look so easy when they had done it all those years ago and now she had let DJ's oldest son run away without even noticing.

And to make matters worse Stephanie couldn't even blame the alcohol. Not really anyway. She hadn't had a drop since she had woken up this morning to the rambunctiously happy Max jumping on her bed. She had been worried that he would notice the bottle under the covers but he didn't seemed. He was far more interested in getting her out of bed for brunch. Apparently DJ had a special recipe. Stephanie figured all mothers did.

Max dragged a hung over Stephanie up to the kitchen where DJ was trying to bribe her eldest son with sweets. He knew something was up. He figured it was bad news. DJ tried to tell him the news wasn't that bad and even good news. Stephanie half heard her sister compare the news to a cauliflower filled with jellybeans.

"Come on mom." Jackson said finally having enough of his mothers creepy behavior, "How bad can it be?"

That's when Kimmy came in with Ramona. "I've waited my whole life to say this." Kimmy said happily, "Home Sweet Home."

Maybe Stephanie should have seen it coming. Maybe they all should have. Having Kimmy and Ramona moving in was bad enough but when Jackson lost his room he reacted like any teenager would. He overreacted.

Of course he went to Stephanie first and asked her advise. Stephanie told a perfectly reasonable story about how she and DJ didn't get along either when the two of them were unreasonably forced to share a room when Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey moved in.

Maybe she should have seen it coming. Then again Maybe Uncle Jesse should have as well. He had an excuse though. He was in a hurry and only had time to congratulate her on her first Aunt speech before he had to leave with his luck guitar.

DJ was pissed when Jesse brought Jackson home and Stephanie and Kimmy didn't notice he was missing. Stephanie had had a few drinks so she wondered if DJ had thought she had gotten to drunk to notice her son had run away but that wasn't the case.

However it actually turned into a pretty inspirational moment for everyone which was something Stephanie hadn't had since she was home. Even with a few drinks in her Stephanie smiled while her family talked about their feelings like feelings weren't something to be ashamed of. She watched as her family and Kimmy and Ramona really talked to each other.

That wasn't something her friends in London ever really did. They talked alot but they talked about nothing. She missed her friends who went to amazing places on a moments notice but Stephanie knew this was where he needed be.

"So everybody needs to do their part to make this new family work." DJ said to the group.

Somehow it all ended with a group hug. Stephanie had Max to thank for that. Maybe she would thank Max for that because that was something else her family was known for and something she didn't realize she missed.


	8. Chapter 8

It had taken several weeks but Stephanie and Kimmy had convinced DJ to go out with them clubbing. At first Stephanie thought DJ's reluctance had to do with the odd empty bottle of vodka she had found in the trash can outside that had disappeared from her bedroom. She was worried at first that Max had gone on one of his cleaning jams but Max had stayed mostly out of her room so she figured it had been DJ who had found them but so far had said nothing.

Still she had ultimately agreed to go out with them which was a plus. Besides the fact that Stephanie hadn't been out since she moved in with her sister and Kimmy; they all needed a little bit of fun in their lives. They had penned it as "Girls Night Out" and had begged like children until DJ had finally given in.

Stephanie even promised to tolerate Kimmy who she admitted even to herself was growing on her. Not that she would ever tell Kimmy that.

"When have we ever looked this hot and gotten along this great?" Stephanie commented to Kimmy,

"Never." Kimmy said back "We better get proof. Selfie."

The getting along lasted for about a minute then Kimmy found out Stephanie had blocked her on Instagram but Stephanie defused it effortlessly. If she had learned anything in London and traveling the world it was defusing difficult personalities. Not that Kimmy...

Of course DJ came and tried to get out of girls night. She had changed her mind so many times the days before they should have seen it coming. However they were disappointed when DJ came down the stairs wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants.

"Deej we planned this whole night for you. You have to go out and have some fun."

"I have fun."

That's when they officially became the She-Wolf pack according to Kimmy and despite Stephanie's protests she kind of liked the name. Not that she'd ever tell Kimmy that. She was actually starting to see why her sister liked the girl. She kept things interesting and her sister needed that. God how her sister needed that.

DJ continued her protests even saying she had nothing to wear so they produced the dress they had procured for her. A dress that was the exact opposite to DJ's usually style which made it perfect. They had even gotten Joey to agree to babysit.

DJ had no further excuses.

She was going out with them.

It was time to party.

They even got Uber to drive them. DJ wasn't getting out of it this time. Stephanie made the mistake of recounting one of her drunken escapades. She had forgotten that the until after the story was over that she was actually telling the story of Kimmy's wedding. She also forgot that she had promised herself to avoid telling her family stories about her drunken escapades . They tended to be funnier in her own head or when her friends told them. Her family was usually not amused. Kimmy sure wasn't.

When they got to the club Stephanie was surprised that Kimmy seemed to know the hostess and that they were let right in especially since this looked like a hot place. It was mildly disconcerting. Apparently Kimmy had a life that Stephanie didn't know about and it was an interesting one. She knew the details of what happened between Kimmy and Fernando, that he had cheated on her alot but she hadn't really heard much about their actual marriage. Seeing that they had spent a what looked to be a fair amount of time clubbing was a revelation to Stephanie.\

She like it.

She like it alot.

What she didn't particularly like was the two guys who immediately hit on her the moment she went to the bar to get tequila shots. Not that it didn't happen all the time. Actually this was the kind of thing she had once lived for. If ti was London, or Paris or one of the thousand other places she had been to she would have flirted with both of the guys and taken what drink they had offered her and then gone home alone.

Usually alone anyway.

More and more often she had woken up next to someone she hadn't remembered talking to and more and more often it had been a woman and not a man. It had confused her at first. Stephanie had never been attracted to women before but lately she had noticed them more often. The way their bodies looked. They way they moved. the way they felt.

That was part of the reason she had come home. She needed to think. She needed to step away from all the partying and all the drugs and figure out what she really wanted. It didn't escape her that she was still getting drunk every night or taking her sister out to a club to have fun.

Some habits were harder to break then others.

It also didn't escape her that she was noticing things about Kimmy Gibler that she hadn't noticed before. Those things she tried to ignore. Kimmy was DJ's friend and not hers. They barely tolerated each other. At least Stephanie barely tolerated her at least until recently. Stephanie had no idea what Kimmy really thought of her.

Stephanie was't sure she wanted to know. She wasn't sure it mattered. They were barely friends and barely friends what what they needed to be because what Stephanie had come home to do was help DJ get back on her feet. Once she did Stephanie had every intention of going back to her life.

A life where had elephant ride to Cambodia with Macy Gray. Those kind of things didn't happen in San Fransisco when you were taking cafe of three little kids However things did get somewhat interesting when Fernando showed up.

That's when the dancing started.

Apparently Euphoria had a nightly dance off and Fernando and Kimmy had been a legend at one time. Which explains why they had gotten such golden treatment when they had walked in. Legends were remembered at clubs.

Things quickly went sour between Fernando and Kimmy. Apparently Fernando had come with another woman and then had hit on Kimmy. To make matters worse it looked like he was going to win the dance off with his new girl until DJ stepped in and agreed to be Kimmy's partner.

That was the kind of friendship they had.

That was why Stephanie could never let herself feel anything for Kimmy even if she wanted to. It would get in the way of one of those friendships that had lasted for years and was true and real and better then anything she had ever experienced. DJ and Kimmy would do anything for each other. Stephanie couldn't get in the way of that.

They were just too good together.

And Stephanie would never get in the way of that.


	9. Chapter 9

Stephanie needed a good stiff drink.

Darren was a great guy.

Actually Darren was an adorable guy. Any single mother of (what was it now... four?) kids would have been lucky to have a guy like Darren.

Darren was also boring Stephanie to tears.

It wasn't really his fault. He thought Stephanie was a sexy single mother of way too many kids. Hell he thought Stephanie was DJ. Darren was DJ's type not. He was the kind of guy you look for when you are shopping around for fathers for your kid.

Stephanie wasn't.

She was shopping around for cheap meaningless sex.

Darren wasn't that guy.

It was her own fault though. She should have realized what kind of guy Darren was the moment she laid eyes on him in the coffee place and double down on it when he brought her her order that the coffee place refused to comp her. He didn't blink when a second kid popped up. Yeah she should have seen it coming. He was just so damn cute and Stephanie hadn't had a good lay since she had come back to San Fransisco. She had been good and kept her drinking down to a respectable limit.

At least for her.

The date was supposed to be a fun time with a cute guy that maybe turned into a fun night. Stephanie had not intention of it turning into a relationship. She wasn't ready for that. She still wasn't sure how long she was staying in town.

Plus there was Kimmy.

No Kimmy had nothing to do with this.

Stephanie just wanted a drink, maybe some dancing, and then some sex. Instead she ended up with a guy you spent the rest of your life with.

Ain't those the breaks?

As he walked her to the door after their date he kissed her gently on the cheek and barely waited before he walked back to his car. Stephanie briefly wondered if he had been as bored on the date as she had. Stephanie just shook her head and then entered the house. She was actually surprised to see Kimmy still up reading on the couch.

Kimmy had never really struck her as a reader.

Not that she had been much of a reader herself lately.

"Hey Sister-Wife." Kimmy said cheerfully as always, "How was your date with Mr. Mom?"

Stephanie sat on the couch next to Kimmy who scooted over a bit, "Well he took me to a place that had a kiddie menu. I think he thought I would be impressed."

"Ahhh and no bar I take it."

Stephanie did a double take at her sister's friend but saw no accusation on her face. There was just a weird look of curiosity and something Stephanie couldn't identify, "No no bar. And with all the screaming..."

"You could have used one." Kimmy laughed, "Thats what you get for using an infant as date bate."

Stephanie laughed, "I think I used all the kids as date bate."

"He really thought they were all yours?" Kimmy laughed too.

"Sister wives share everything. Don't they?" Stephanie said a little more suggestively then she intended.

The look on Kimmy's face confused her for a second but then it was gone. Kimmy ignored the comment and instead got up and grabbed her a glass of wine she had been drinking. Wine wasn't really Stephanie's thing. It didn't get you drunk enough fast enough but that wasn't the point tonight.

The point was to have a good time with a good friend.

Oh God when did Kimmy become a good friend?

Now Stephanie really did need a good stiff drink.


	10. Chapter 10

"If they are holding you here against your will blink three times."

Shannon had always been one of Stephanie's best friends. They had the greatest time together when they went out to clubs. All Stephanie's friends could be counted on go drinking and have a blast on weekends and even the occasional night but it was Shannon who was always up for a fun ride no matter what the day or the hour. They always had a blast together. They always got blasted together.

"it's not a cult." Stephanie said faking exasperation. "Its a family. You know, where you end up five times a day in a group hug. Oh my God I'm in a cult."

That was pretty much all it took for Shannon to convince Stephanie it was time to leave. That and promising to take her out partying anywhere she wanted to go. As she was leaving though she already started to miss the kids but realized as she was giving DJ directions on what to do with her own kids that things had gotten way out of hand.

She was planning on coming back. Just not for a couple of days. She was hoping for that hot guy with the caught. That was the dream. She was also hoping that she wouldn't black out and wake up in some girls bed. That was the nightmare. Either way it was time to party.

Stephanie was having a great time at Chochella's. It was almost like old times. Shannon even got her the gig as a DJ, she was just about to go on when her sister skyped her reminding her that she had promised to give Max her scarf for his recital. She had convinced him it was magic and would give him confidence to go on.

She had let him down and it made her feel horrible. However she had her own friend. "I pulled you out of that cult. You are back with your own people."

There was some truth to that statement. Stephanie wanted nothing more then to get wasted with Shannon. Shannon probably had some coke in her pocketbook and if she didn't she knew where to score some. It had been a long time since Stephanie could party this much and she missed ti. She really missed it.

However when she got on the plane to Italy she saw that everyone was already drunk and it gave her a weird feeling inside the pit of her stomach. As the plane took off she didn't want the glass of whatever she had in her hand. Well she did and she drank it but what she really wanted was to know how Max had done at his recital. She wanted to know how Jacksons day went. She wanted to feed Tommy dinner. She wanted to talk to her sister.

She wanted to talk to Kimmy.

She would miss Kimmy and she didn't know what to do with that information. It was only supposed to be for a few days but Stephanie knew herself. If she let this plane land it Italy she would get wasted and never go back home.

"Look who got sucked into the vortex of motherhood." DJ said happily and partly teasing as Stephanie told her how much she enjoyed being around her family.

That's when Stephanie had decided to tell her the truth. She had found out that she would never have children of her own. She had always meant to tell her family but it never seemed to be the right time. Now however seemed to be the right time.

"I can't have children." Stephanie said trying to keep herself together at least for her sisters sake.

The idea of children was not something Stephanie had ever really considered before. Even finding out from her doctor that it wouldn't happen hadn't really hit her. Then she had moved in with her sister and her band of kids and suddenly the idea she would never be a mother hit her like a freight train.

Stephanie wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.

When DJ hugged her Stephanie knew this is where she belonged. It wasn't with Shannon and all her party friends. For whatever reason the appeal of getting drunk and partying every night had lost its appeal.

The appeal was Jackson, Max, and Romano coming into Tommy's room and Max telling them all how his recital went. The appeal was a great big group hug.

The appeal was Kimmy coming in to join them.

The appeal was family.

A/N: I am aware that there are other ways to have children. Just for this chapter I am following the basic script of "Mad Max". Plus I am working under the assumption that accepting you cannot "have children" is a process and Stephanie has just told her sister. She is not going to jump right into adoption especially since she never considered children previously.


	11. Chapter 11

When it was Kimmy who came to the rescue during the Mexican wrestling match Stephanie was actually glad. She enjoyed helping Ramona but she was Kimmy's daughter and was glad she could help.

The Spanish wrestling was fun to watch but what was even more fun was how cute her sister was. How little she understood about wrestling but how in to it she was. DJ had felt bad about grounding Jackson but when he showed up anyway Stephanie was as amazed at everyone else at what happened.

Apparently DJ had skills.

Stephanie had a wonderful picture in her head about DJ becoming the next big thing is Mexican Wrestling. It was unrealistic as all hell but the image was worth it.

Ramona's birthday was a short time later. Kimmy and her ex had made an effort to get along so Ramona would have the kind of birthday they thought she deserved. Kimmy went all out in her party planning. The goal was to give Ramona the best birthday ever.

It worked for awhile.

Then Ramona became convinced that her parents were getting back together again. It made her incredibly happy. It would be a wish come true for her.

Which is why Stephanie felt so bad that she was jealous. She knew she had no right to be It wasn't like Kimmy and her were even dating or were even really friends.

However Stephanie found herself having her first drink it weeks when she saw Kimmy and Fernando acting like they were getting back together again. She felt bad about it especially since she had done so well.

She had promised herself things would be different now that she had decided to stay home for good. The party life had gotten old anyway. Stephanie had thrown out all the booze she kept hidden and pretended not to notice that her sister had given her a weird look when she walked upstairs with a big bad full of empty bottles.

DJ had pretended nothing was wrong then. She had even told her kids that Stephanie had the flu when she had gotten sick a few days after that. Stephanie knew her sister knew what was really going on and she was thankful that her nephews didn't have to see her like that.

It was a really bad flu.

DJ had been great about it without being all judgy. That was what Stephanie had fear the most. The people she loved would judge her. However it hadn't happened.

She had promised herself her drinking and partying was over. Then Kimmy Gibbler had thrown the party to end all parties for her daughter. Stephanie was actually surprised how much alcohol was served. Then again her sister and Kimmy were adults and if they wanted a glass of wine why shouldn't they have one? They weren't the ones with the problem.

Stephanie had controlled herself until she heard that Kimmy and Fernando were back together again. She barely even noticed the glass of wine in her hand and how easily she gulped it down.

She felt bad about it later. Especially when she found out that Kimmy and Fernando hadn't actually gotten back together. They had gotten along so well as a gift to their daughter.

It was a nice thought.

Stephanie found herself that night drinking a bottle of really good vodka that she had snagged from the bar. She had flirted with the bartender a bit and he easily gave it to her. Stephanie wasn't sure why she was falling back on old habits.

Maybe because they were old habits. She knew everyone would be disappointed in her especially her sister. However Stephanie didn't care.

All she wanted was to forget how jealous she got over a woman she had no right to be jealous of. All Stephanie wanted was to forget.


	12. Chapter 12

Kimmy and Fernando were not back together again.

That is what Stephanie kept telling herself. She knew it was a lie but if Stephanie excelled at one thing it was lying to herself. Kimmy wasn't back with Fernando. Just like she didn't have a drinking problem that was creeping up on her again.

Lies lies more lies.

It was a bad sign when the two soccer moms where getting it on and Stephanie was trying to be good. It was like she was in some weird version of the twilight zone. A world where her sister was cool and Kimmy Gibbler was back with her husband,

Stephanie did not like that world at all.

In that word she stayed at home on a Saturday night an sorted socks.

"Oh my God. I'm the spinster aunt."

Stephanie really wanted to be happy for Kimmy. Seeing her happy with a goofy grin made Stephanie's insides flutter. It was nice. Stephanie just wished she was the one making Kimmy that happy. It was a stupid thought. A stupid lie. Kimmy was never going to feel the way she felt.

Stephanie kept telling herself that. However she also kept telling herself that if she got her act together maybe Kimmy would see her; would look at her and maybe she would look at her the way she looked at Fernando.

Stephanie was good at lying to herself.

"I know where I'm going. Out. And I'm not coming back until I get my own goofy grin."

Stephanie had gone out that night ready to party but her heart wasn't really in it That didn't have a few drinks and stumble back into the house late that night but it did mean something had changed in her. There was a time she would have stayed out for days before coming back home. There was that one time she had going out and hadn't come home for a week.

Now she had a few beers and shot of whatever they were passing out she was done.

She was bored.

My god how boring these people were.

Had she been like that? Only interesting when she was drunk out of her mind? Or was it something else? Had she been lying to herself for so long that now that the truth was coming out did those lies stop having meaning.

She was in love with Kimmy Gibbler.

Stephanie Tanner was in love with her sister's best friend.

She knew she could no longer lie to herself about that.

She didn't want to. It didn't matter that Kimmy didn't feel the same. It really didn't. Stephanie was actually happy for kimmy that things seemed to be going well with her and Fernanado.

Kimmy deserved to be happy.

Kimmy deserved every goofy grin in the world.

Stephanie knew it was time to figure out what she wanted. What she deserved. She knew it wasn't going to be Kimmy Gibler but that didn't mean she didn't deserve to be happy.

Stepanie took one last chug of her beer and then left the club. It was too loud to think. It was just too loud. She need to go home to think and decide. Stepanie knew it was time to decide.

Time to decide who she was and what she wanted.

It was time to stop hiding behind the drugs and the alcohol. It was time to stop hiding behind the parties and the night clubs. It was time to stop hiding behind the random sex with random strangers.

It was just time.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I know its been a couple of weeks. Real life issues and short attention span. I will try to do better.

Stephanie had no idea how she let herself get talked into working for Kimmy Gibler. It was her worst nightmare for more reasons then one. It meant spending time with the woman which was nice but it meant spending time with the woman which was confusing.

However DJ had volunteered Stephanie to help when Kimmy got overbooked planing her own daughters parter and DJ's bosses party. DJ had changed the party theme last minute and she really did need the help. Planning two parties at once was alot for one person to do,

They were a perfect match actually. Kimmy was desperate and Stephanie was broke. The rest didn't matter. When Stephanie brought home a cow of course Kimmy hated it. She insisted this was not something she would do but when everyone thought it was her cow it only made her upset. Stephanie hadn't actually meant to make her upset. She actually had tried to think like Kimmy and wanted to make her happy.

The cow was supposed to be the perfect party gift for Kimmy and Gibler Style. It didn't go really has planned. When DJ came into the kitchen everyone tried to keep the cow standing there from her and she was so preoccupied with the news that her boss wasn't giving her the pet clinic that she almost missed that the cow was there. Almost anyway.

Even DJ thought it was Kimmy's cow.

Stephanie did know Kimmy pretty well. It was actually kind of disconcerting how well. When she had seen the cow her immediate thought was that Kimmy would love it. It was perfect for both a kids party and a party for someone on his way to India. She was actually somewhat surprised when Kimmy initially said it wasn't what she wanted but then she realized that Kimmy was trying to ignore that crazy little part of her at least when it came to business and be a little more adult. It was her business after all and it meant alot to her. However the cow really was cool and she finally admitted it after DJ called it "Kimmy's cow."

The Indian theme party was bummer from the start and it got even worse when DJ announced her decision not to return to the pet clinic. She had really thought her boss would give it to her and when he didn't it made her think that it was time to move on. Stephanie admired the decision however the party took a definite downturn which wan't good for Kimmy.

Stephanie did help in the end. It wasn't what Kimmy would do. It was what she would do. People loved to dance. On more then one occasion she had met someone cute she had taken home on the dance floor only to find out later they had nothing in common. That was the downside. However the upside was that Stephanie was able to fix the party of Kimmy. What started as an abject failure became a unbridled success.

Stephanie couldn't have been happier.

Stephanie couldn't have been happier for Kimmy Gibler.

Kimmy hugging her made Stephanie happier then she had remembered being in a long time. She knew she was in trouble if it was that easy. If Kimmy could make her sad when she was sad. Angry when she was angry and happy when she was happy.

Stephanie Tanner was in trouble.

When Kimmy agreed to make her a junior partner in the company she had built Stephanie knew that Kimmy at least respected her. She had said as much. Stephanie had responded the only way she could without blurting out everything she wanted to blurt out to Kimmy. She had been snarky but not as snarky as she could have been, She wanted to be Kimmy's friend. She wanted Kimmy to look at her the way she was looking at her now.

Stephanie was in big trouble.


End file.
